Well I'm updating my journal because Sheila want's me to. She's been bugging me about it so I figured I would. It's time to get alot out. I moved out of my dad's house, and now I'm living down at Brian's house, I just moved in yesterday. I still have something's over there, but I'll get those at another time. I just had to get out of there. My sister's nothing but a bitch that doesn't do anything. My dad's never home, he's always over his girlfriend's house so why should I be there?! My dad always say's that me, and her are lazy, and that he can't wait till we move out so that he can move out of that house into his girlfriends, and then sell that house, and get the hell out of here. Well how that fuck do you think that makes me feel?! Ever since my parents left each other I always wanted to live with my dad, and finally when I get the chance to I fuckin' hate it. I wish that my mother was still alive. I feel like I amount to shit. I've worked my ass off for the last year, and whut the hell do I have to show for it?! Nothing! I'm done with letting people hold me back, push me down. I'm sick of it all. There's a list of people I want to talk about, and here's there names. My dad, my sister, Andrew, Brian, and Sheila. First...my dad. I know that my dad has it bad, but he's only fuckin' his life up even more, and to me he I think that he doesn't care. I moved out 3 nights ago, has he wanted me to come back? Has he called me to try to talk to me about it? Fuck no! I left him a note telling him how I feel. That I feel like I amount to nothing, and that whut I feel like I'm going to become, and I don't want that at all. I said that "I lost my mother, and I felt like I was loosing my father to, and that it's the wrost god damn fucking feeling in the world". I told him that I was moving out, and that all of my things would be gone in a few months. Well he called me that night because he wanted to know where my scale was because he needed it. He didn't care that I was moving out. I went over there to get something, and he was there, and my sister old friend Jackie was to. I walked in the house, and walked towards my room, and she was walking out of it, and it pissed me off because shit's been missing out of there, and it's worth month. I got whut I needed, and walked outside because that's where my dad was. I asked him why she was in my room, and he said that she was probably looking for him, because she didn't know that he went out side. Will I was about to leave, but I walked back in the house a minute after my dad did, and they were in his room, and I opened the door to ask him if he read the note or not, and she was cutting up ****. Instantly I got pissed, and walked out. The next day he said that he didn't do anything, that he was just helping her out, that he does once in awhile. Whut the fuck is it?! Why do you think your in so much trouble now Dad?! After I seen whut I seen I told him that I would be out before the weekend was over, and I told him that he's doing that shit that I'll never talk to him again. It's bullshit! He was subpossed to call me today to talk, but he never did. He was over his girlfriends, and I seen him leave his house, and I think that that bitch Jackie was with him. Just show's me how much that asshole cares. I've lost all respect for him. On to my sister. She's having a baby soon, and I think it's stupid. She can't subport a kid. She has no money put away, and you cant live paycheck to paycheck with a kid. She's fucking her life up, and she doesn't understand that. The father is nothing, but a drug user, and an asshole. They fight all the time, and no one likes him. I love her to death, and I would do anything to help her, but this time your on your own bitch. Brian , I thank you for letting me move in. I really do. I can't wait till your grandparents leave, and the house is ours, but that doesn't even matter to me. I glad that your my friend, and that your there for me when I need it. You know that I would do the same for you in a heartbeat. Mr. Burns...Andrew I love you like a bother, but where in the hell do you get off saying that your life isn't great. You fucking have everything you could ever want. Look at all the shit that's in your room. You always say that you don't have money, and shit like that, well whut the hell do you do with all of it?! You just got a sound board in your room. Your have two, or three computers, like 5 guitars, that are not cheap. You have everything. I hate that because your going to go somewhere in life, and I'm not. You, and your family have the money to do that. Me, I have nothing. I have whut I bought, whut I worked for, and whut I'm still working for. I might have a decent truck, but I've worked for that, and I still am. I have a full time job, work 40 hours, and week, and whut do I have to show for it?! Nothing. You have a part time job, and do pretty much whut ever you want. Must be nice huh?! I'm not trying to diss you, or anything...I'm just saying the truth, and how I feel. (not like your gonna read this anyways) Now on the the best thing in my life right now...Sheila. I Love her. Whut more is there to say. I could say that I plan on making her my wife sometime in the near future. So far she's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, and there's no fuckin' way that I'm letting her go for anything!!! I can't wait till we can finally move in together in a few month's, because I hate falling asleep without you next to me. I really do. This entry was just me venting in away. I didn't get to say all the things that I wanted to, but I got enough out for right now. Trust me...there more in the fucked up head.
PS: Krystal - Not to be mean, or anything, but I have to many thing's going on in my life, and I don't need more people adding to the problem's I already have so please just leave me alone. I don't want to be your friend, and you need to get that through your head. I'm sorry, but it's like you don't understand that.
Till next time, I bid you well.